The Girl Who Wrote Her Own Restraining Order

The internet is abuzz with this HILARIOUS note a girl wrote to a boy who wouldn’t stop bothering her.

I do not find it hilarious.  I find it concerning.  This is a young girl who is apparently being harassed by a young boy and had to resort to writing a note outlining exactly how he needs to leave her alone.

Boys and girls need to learn at an early age that No Means No.  Parents can be at fault with this.  Certainly I’ve given in after saying no because my children kept pestering me.  That was a failing on my part.  No is a complete sentence.  The sooner children learn that the better.

I give a high five to the young lady for standing up for herself, but it dismays me she had to go this far.  I hope the young man quickly learns what “Stop” means.  I hope the adults around these children stop laughing at how “cute” and “droll” this is and see the deeper meaning.  It should not be dismissed as “boys will be boys,” which is thankfully falling out of favor, or “kids these days.”  

One “Leave me alone” should be enough, no matter your gender.


Preventive Maintenance

We get the oil changed in our car.  We get our septic tanks pumped.  We have the air conditioning guy come out to check our handler.

We perform routine maintenance on many of our belongings to keep them running.  How many of us do the same thing for ourselves?

If you are a woman, when was the last time you had a mammogram or a Pap smear?  If you are a man, when was the last time you had a prostate exam?  Have you had your blood work done?  Have you had a colonoscopy?

Many of us don’t go to the doctor unless we’re sick.  But if the doctor doesn’t have a baseline on our health, they can’t know when something appears off.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2008 after a routine mammogram.  I had the mammogram because I’d seen my doctor for my annual physical.  She said it’d been three years, time for another squishing.

If I hadn’t gone, if I’d blown it off because I was busy or didn’t take it seriously, I’d still have cancer.  I just wouldn’t know it.  But they caught it early, I had my treatment, and I’ve been fine ever since.  The scary thing was, I didn’t feel sick.  If I’d ignored it until I did feel sick, I’d be in a worse situation.  I think having cancer has trained me not to ignore symptoms.  Something feels off, I get it looked at quickly instead of waiting for it to go away.

I recently blackmailed my husband into getting a colonoscopy.  He needed to have it, since he is past 50 and there’s a history of colon cancer in his family.  He asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day.  I smiled and said, “I want you to get a colonoscopy.”  He hung his head.  I’d trapped him.  Quite nicely, if I do say so myself.

The doctor found two benign polyps and snipped them out.  These polyps can turn into cancer.  But now they’re gone.

This preventative maintenance on our bodies takes just a little time out of our lives.  But isn’t it better to take a little time now, while we’re healthy, rather than take a lot of time later, when we get sick?

We recently lost a family member to advanced cancer.  She was older and came from the generation where doctors are for when you get sick.  I often wonder if she’d had her annual check ups, would they have caught the illness sooner?  Could they have treated it?  Would she still be with us today?

Preventive maintenance.  A little goes a long way, whether you’re talking about cars or colons.


I’m Back!

To my shame, it’s been more than a year since my last blog.  Why the long gap?

I have all sorts of excuses…busy with health issues, work, life.  But the true reason is fear.

Fear I have nothing interesting to say.  Fear what I say will be disregarded, or dismissed, or worse, laughed at.  Fear that I will completely screw it up.

Facebook Memories is a lovely way to look back on past posts.  Recently one post reminded me that I’ve been working on a story for a year.  I’ve been trying a new method of writing.  Instead of trying to start at the beginning, writing through to the end, and then stopping, I’ve taken a page from one of my favorite authors and written snippets.  I then piece them together like a jigsaw puzzle.  It’s less stress that way and easier to go back and retcon.

I do have more written since I started.  But I should have even more.  A friend of mine introduced me to Scrivener, and although I do not believe I have tapped into all its functions, it’s a nice way to organize and write.

Fear truly is the mindkiller.  When I first started writing this story it was just for me.  For my own satisfaction, my own fun.  As time went on I started to doubt myself, to fear sitting down and opening Scrivener in case I mucked it up.

But then I realized for this little universe, I am the god.  I can go back and change things.  It’s my creation, I can fix and shift and move and revise as I like.

So, no reason to fear.  I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long.  I’ve been afraid.  But I will fight the fear.